The Art of Solo Traveling:

How Exploring The World Transforms Your Life

with Astra Olander Vanheesbeke

Astra, you grew up in Sweden in the countryside. What was it like to spend your childhood there? What was the pace of life?

I was born in Stockholm and moved to the countryside with my family when I was six. I had my entire childhood there. The pace of life was very beautiful. Sweden has such specific seasons: when it’s winter, there is a lot of snow; when it’s autumn, everything is in oranges and reds, and it’s so stunning in summer and spring. I got close to animals quite early and was riding horses a lot. It is such an amazing feeling — galloping bareback on a horse. I think it contributed a lot to my sense of freedom. My closest friends lived two kilometers away, so we always walked or biked to each other, went to different places, and explored together. We spent a lot of time in the water rowing boats. It was a very idyllic childhood in a way. It was such a richness to see the changing of the seasons and grow up close to animals, to take care of them. It taught me a lot. When I have kids of my own, I would love to give them that as well.

At the age of fifteen you traveled alone for the first time. You went to Amsterdam for a modeling job. Can you tell me about this experience? How did it make you feel?

That first trip I went to meet an agency. I was still living in the countryside, and it was a big trip. Looking back, I was so young then. It was my first time in Amsterdam, and I remember thinking, “Wow, it’s so beautiful here!” It was spring, and the air was very soft. After the casting, I had time to myself: I bought this Belgian waffle in a super touristy place, sat by the canal, and thought: “This is life.” I remember so clearly the feeling of being in a city where nobody knows you. I didn’t need to be anything or do anything. I went by myself, did what I had to do, and was actually enjoying my time. That felt amazing.

I guess, it was the first breath of freedom...

Exactly. It was like, “Wow, I’m not a kid anymore.” When you’re fourteen-fifteen, you’re on this edge: you think that you’re the most adult person in the world, but some days you just want to curl up next to your parents and watch a movie (smiles). I realized that there are actually things to do besides this little countryside that I grew up in. That there’s more to life than what I’ve seen so far. So that trip definitely inspired me to get out there and explore the world. I started going around Europe on weekends by myself.

So, in the beginning, they were smaller trips around Europe, but then you traveled to Tanzania, Australia, the US — all these amazing places. Can you talk about building up the courage to go to more remote locations?

My first really long and adventurous trip was when I just turned nineteen or twenty. I went to Nepal and India. I struggled at that time with questions like Who am I? Who do I want to be? What is my life? So one of the biggest moments of my life to this day was when I was hiking in the Himalayas and saw a sunrise over the mountains. It was so beautiful. I felt like every part of me was alive. I felt like the world is so much bigger than me. All my thoughts, fears, and anxieties melted away then, because I realized that no matter what’s going on with me or how I’m feeling, there’s something so much bigger and more eternal. I felt so small in such a big way.

In India, I also went to a place called Kerala. There are long beaches, blossoms everywhere. It’s super stunning. I remember swimming in the ocean and eating very fragrant food there. I was like, “Wow, this actually makes me feel something.” I missed that so much in Stockholm, being in school. I was quite depressed there trying to figure myself out. And I found so much beauty and authenticity being somewhere else. When you stand in front of the mountains or this beautiful ocean, it’s difficult to feel that your everyday problems are problems at all.

This trip was so important to me because it taught me about how capable I am. When I was in Nepal, I got quite sick — I got a stomach bug, which is very common there. And I just thought that I needed to push through — you either take yourself to the next point or you go back. That was such a valuable lesson — that I can trust myself. That I can take myself from point A to point B in life and rely on my own abilities. Not needing a friend or a partner to do that.

I imagine that a lot of people — especially at such a young age — wouldn’t think the same way and would want to go back home if they got sick or faced some other difficulties on their way. Where do you think this strength of yours comes from?

I think it has a lot to do with my childhood. When I was little, my dad was absent a lot of the time, he had some addiction issues. Even though my mum did an amazing job of protecting me, I saw a lot of darkness quite early and grew up quite fast. That’s something that I couldn’t put a finger on when I was little, but there are definitely a lot of things that I wish could have been different. I also don’t have any siblings, so with my mum, we’ve always had a very close relationship. She’s very wise, and she taught me a lot. She always told me that if a situation is bad, you can get out. If you want something, you have the strength to do it. You don’t have to wait for anyone or adjust to anyone. I think it very much came from that.

Would you say traveling was a way for you to escape reality?

Yes, I think that's also a huge reason why I’ve traveled so much. I felt trapped in my own body and life. I thought that there had to be more than this. I was just crawling out of my skin, I needed to do something else.

On your social media, you posted about spending a month in Tanzania and doing “a soul-searching trip” in Ibiza. Can you tell me more about these experiences that changed your life?

When it comes to life-changing trips, I think of a month I spent in the States. I had just turned twenty-one and first went to visit some friends in Los Angeles and Encinitas, which is this beautiful little beach town. And then I took this train called the California Zephyr, which goes across the country from San Diego to Chicago. The US is so large, so the train passes all these different locations: there was snow, there were mountains. It’s really cinematic. I brought my sketchbooks and notepads and was thinking that there’s so much to see even in one country. It was also so accessible — I bought those tickets for $150 for three or four days of traveling. I met so many random and interesting people on the train — I remember there was this one Indian guy that came to the US to start working for the UN. I think it’s also something so beautiful about traveling by yourself. Sometimes I get the question “Don’t you ever feel lonely during these trips?” For me, it is almost the opposite because you’re so open to meeting new friends, and only you decide whom you spend your time with. I love that feeling when no one else controls what you do.

The Formentera-Ibiza trip was also amazing. Formentera is, so to speak, a little sister to Ibiza and the most beautiful island. The reason I went there is that one of my all-time favorite artists — Bob Dylan — is rumored to have stayed there in a lighthouse for a few years in the 60s. I had a bit of a difficult year, I was going through things. I wanted to go to this lighthouse and do a soul-searching trip. I biked around and listened to my favorite Dylon’s songs. It was around covid, so there were no people there, it was super quiet and beautiful.

What would you say was the most unexpected thing that you discovered about yourself during those solo trips?

I wouldn’t say that it is the most unexpected one but probably the realization that there are billions of parallel lives to your own. It is something that I think about on every trip: my friends, people back at home are walking the same streets, doing the same things. I find that you miss so much when you go on an already “stepped on” road. My regular life is something that I can always go back to, but there are literally endless possibilities in the world. You are always a master of your own life. When I was in Zanzibar, Tanzania, I remember lying on a beach, reading Keith Richards’s biography (I’m such a music nerd) and thinking, “You really can do anything you want to.” You also meet people who are aligned with your energy when you place yourself in situations that are out of your comfort zone. I really believe in the law of attraction there. I think that you attract people who are similar to you when you take risks and do the things that you want to do.

What did you learn about others through connecting to people from all over the world?

I realized that however different we are around the world, we are still one world. There can be differences when it comes to structure, culture, and so on, but at the end of the day, everyone’s human. Traveling and meeting all kinds of people also taught me to never judge others. Everyone has such a deep story. Even if I don’t always agree with someone, there is a reason why they are the way that they are. It’s such a cliché but truly never judge a book by its cover.

When you meet different kinds of people from all over the world, it strengthens your ability to create connections with others. It probably enriches relationships in your daily life as well because you understand the world and how it works better. What are your thoughts on that?

You are absolutely right on that. I really believe that. I think that you learn so much about yourself and others by exploring the world. I’d like to see myself as a person who is quite in tune with others, and I think it has heightened by traveling. When you meet different kinds of people, you see people for who they are. I’m not easily impressed with things that look glittery from the outside. What impresses me most is a genuinely good person. I also don’t necessarily measure friendships by time. Some of my absolute best friends I’ve met during those trips. I think that when you travel, you’re your purest self. The only thing people see is you as you are. Nobody knows what kind of person you were two weeks ago or what you were dressed like three years ago. That’s such an amazing thing — you meet people traveling and it comes down to the purest form.

How do you think the notion that you can take care of yourself when traveling alone has influenced other parts of your life?

I think I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I really trust myself. I definitely have moments when I question myself, but I rarely think that something can’t be done. You have this problem or this goal — how can you reach it? Maybe it’s an extra jump or an extra turn sometimes, but most of the things you can do if you put your mind to that. Every place and every situation teaches you something: even if it’s negative, you always grow. You also learn to recognize the things that are worth fighting for.

Speaking of the things worth fighting for, you have a wedding coming up — by the time this interview is published, you will be married. Your soon-to-be husband Roeland proposed to you during a beautiful trip in the Arctic. Can you share the story of your engagement?

Roeland is such an amazing person. Whenever I talked about a song or a movie when we started dating, he always brought it up the next time. My favorite movie is The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. It actually ties together so much of what we’ve been talking about today. The main idea behind this film is to live life, to do the things you want to do, to go for it. So I mentioned this movie to Roeland and said something like, “I miss going on an adventure. I really want to go somewhere. Imagine going somewhere like Svalbard!” And that was it — it just passed in the conversation. And then, for that Christmas, — it was last year — Roeland surprised me. He got me a photo album with the most beautiful quote from this movie engraved on the cover: “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” With that, he gifted me a trip to Svalbard and said that this is how we are going to start filling our album. That present was so me, it felt like he really saw me.

When we went to Svalbard, it was so beautiful. Roeland organized all these amazing things: we went riding on dog sleds, we explored. And then, one evening, he took me up to the top of the mountain. There were northern lights, and it was so stunning. He got down on one knee and talked about how much I’ve enriched his life and how he wants to spend his life enriching mine. And then he proposed to me with the most beautiful ring. That’s the story behind it (smiles). The whole trip was such an experience! And that to me is richness.

And now you’re building your life together in Stockholm. Do you like living there?

When I was younger — in my late teens-early twenties — I hated Stockholm (smiles). I thought it was such a boring city: everything is the same, everyone is the same. But now I enjoy it; there’s so much beauty in it. It's very close to nature, so it’s easy to get out into the forest, to go to the ocean. We are also so spoiled when it comes to social benefits — we have so many. For example, if you have a baby, you get a year off from work. Sweden is very nice and safe in this sense. But I think, in general, Swedes can sometimes be closed off. We have a word in Swedish that is lagom — it translates exactly to “not too much, not too little, just right”. A lot of Swedes are lagom, which I think is boring (smiles). I love when people are fully themselves: when they dress exactly like they want to and don’t care if others think that they are crazy. I think that individuality is something that Sweden lacks sometimes.

Do you think Sweden will be your forever home?

Sweden is so beautiful, especially in the countryside. I would love to have a home base there, but to move out of the country for a few years, to live somewhere else. I think it’s beautiful to see life in certain chapters.